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Thursday, January 17, 2008


We have so much to learn from children. I remember when I was a kid, I often use this special weapon against kids who pissed me off. I would say something like I will not be friends with them anymore for this and that. Sometimes the other party will give in. Sometimes they will say 'don't be friends, don't be friends lah' which means no more friendship for us. Kids are kids and this childish event will in no time be forgotten and all will be forgiven. Ah, those were the days but I am sure kids today behave like that too. I believe some things never change.

Adults, on the contrary, are just too serious to know how to have fun like a child. When they don't like you, they really mean it and can do really bad things to hurt you. They don't forgive you. They take an eternal time to forget. Actually when you don't forgive or cannot forget, you are carrying a burden of the past around you all the time. It is very tiring thing to do and can upset your health.

So we should learn from children. I think children are actually God's gift to us. They are here to teach us how to be young again. They teach us how to forgive and forget. They teach us how to be a happy person. Just look at kids. They have very 'short-term' memory. Even when you are mad at them, they will still treat you like friends the next minute.

I count myself lucky that I have not met anyone bad enough to make me a cold and unforgiving person. I do have my share of bitter life-changing experiences but maybe my 'blur' nature helped me to navigate through them. In a way, I am glad; as they say, ignorance is bliss. Or perhaps, only time will tell, time will do the healing. I think the Bible did mention somewhere to forgive 7 x 7 = 49 times. Wow, that's too much for me. I think my limit is 2 times.

Anyway, I wish to share the following poem. I think it reminds us that forgiving is only the first step you take towards better understanding of yourself. Now, isn't that cool?


by Judith Mammay

Forgiveness is letting go of the pain
and accepting what has happened,
because it will not change.

Forgiveness is dismissing the blame.
Choices were made that caused the hurt;
we each could have chosen differently,
but we didn't.

Forgiveness is looking at the pain,
learning the lessons it has produced,
and understanding what we have learned.

Forgiveness allows us to move on
toward a better understanding
of universal love
and our true purpose.

Forgiveness is knowing that love
is the answer to all questions,
and that we all
are in some way connected.

Forgiveness is starting over
with the knowledge
that we have gained.
It is saying:
"I forgive you, and I forgive myself.
I hope you can do the same."

If you judge people, you have no time to love them. -- Mother Teresa