Self-defense mechanism?

Before I go to bed, there are some thoughts I would like to write down.

Maybe I should begin by asking you: how do you measure your own success? how do you measure your own happiness? This seems like a common and over-discussed subject. These questions came to my mind after observing certain human behaviour. And those behaviours lead me into thinking that the individuals are not very happy people or at least, cannot achieve complete happiness.

Let me first point out that I am not a pscychologist, merely trying to understand why certain behaviours exist. So, my views and analysis may not be true and accurate.

I have come across people saying bad things about other people (mostly behind their backs). Well, it happens all the time and it didn't really bother me so much in the past. But when people you know very well behaves that way, you really wonder why they have to behave like that.

Most people don't even realize that they are saying bad things about other people. They don't even realize that they are saying bad things about strangers or even objects when the opportunities arise. Alas, when these behaviours are reinforced regularly, they become habits.

There are good habits and bad habits in life. Bad habits are the ones that impedes one's progress and higher development in life. I believe talking bad about other people and objects creates a negative view of the world you live in. And hence frustrates your efforts to find complete happiness.

Why do people have bad things to say?

This reminds me of some stories in the bible. Roughly, some so-called Christians always have bad things to say about the non-Christians, specifically, the Pharisees. Seeing this, Jesus was angry and began lecturing them about how the Pharisees are better than them in certain ways. Other similar incidents took place where he defended the tax collector and the Emperor. (My apologies for my vagueness here. True, I don't remember the details.)

I think such behaviours are developed as a result of having to defending oneself constantly.

It seems in life, there are so many times you need to defend yourself...........